Review: The Karate Kid (2010)

This article was published on the original Sorry I’m on 14/07/10.

The Karate Kid

Before I start, I need to address what has to be possibly the most misleading film title since The Never Ending Story (or maybe Snatch); the remake of retro 80’s staple The Karate Kid does not contain any semblance of Karate! Forgetting the passive racism – the film is set in China (home of the Kung Fu used in the movie), whereas Karate originates from Japan – it is obviously a ploy to lure audiences to a household brand-name despite all logic and common sense. Either way, it’s pretty poor form from the producers (Big Willie Style!) and another prime example of Hollywood once again patronizing the film-going public.

But now it’s time to take my rage cap off and review this bastard…

He knows never to touch a black man’s radio.

This new take on the Karate Kid sees the action shift from the USA to China, where 12-year-old Dre (Smith) and his mother (Henson) move to begin a new life. Now a fish out of water, the formerly over-confident Dre has to come to grips with living in a foreign land: the language, the customs, weird pre-teen crushes and getting beaten on a regular basis up by a thug of adolescent Wushu upstarts. In steps humble maintenance man – and Kung Fu guru – Mr. Han (Chan): In failing to make peace with Dre’s tormentors and their eeevil teacher, he begins the long journey to teach Dre not only the martial arts to defeat his foes, but the life lessons to help him come to grips with his personal relationships and new surroundings.


There Can Be Only One (Again)

This article was published on the original Sorry I’m on 24/09/09.

Luke Miksa's: The Negative Space Bar

Today in Hollywood, the terms remake, or even worse reimagining, are cause for derision from movie aficionado’s such as me. Nothing spoils a classic film or a childhood favourite more than a half-assed reboot. In spite of occasional box office successes, most of these dreaded reimagining’s are, for the most part, massive lumps of shit – despite the introduction of today’s superior CG effects and quite possibly larger budgets, they are missing depth – a certain charm – something which has made them such fondly remember pieces of celluloid to begin with.

Some future reimagining’s (I even hate typing that word) that are being talked about as future projects include such treasures as Gremlins, Robocop and it has even got to a point where director’s are digging up their own work – such as David Cronenberg with The Fly. But with all that being said, there is one reboot on the horizon that I cannot contend with. A cult classic from the 80’s, highly prized and definitely a personal favourite of mine – 1986’s urban sci-fi swashbuckler Highlander.

Before you get all up in my grill accusing me of blasphemy, first read what I have to say. As I said, Highlander is a personal favourite and a classic, no doubt. But there are just so many elements in the film, and the franchise as a whole, that starting from scratch could benefit from.


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